Stay Single Until You Find This

Hi there. I am The Essence of Femininity, your certified professional life and recovery coach for codependency recovery, and this is my platform, I’m Yellow Butterfly.

Today, I want to speak on something I don’t usually cover in depth—dating. I typically shy away from relationship conversations because I am not currently in a monogamous relationship. I date occasionally, but I haven’t stepped into a committed partnership. That said, I was asked to share my thoughts on this topic, and I felt it was important to offer my perspective as someone who has done the work, and continues to do the work, of codependency recovery.

Take from this what resonates with you, and if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. The beauty of healing is learning that not everyone has to agree with your perspective. But sometimes hearing from someone who has lived it can spark insight, clarity, or even a new standard for yourself.

Emotional and Spiritual Alignment Comes First

For me, alignment is everything. I don’t just mean sharing hobbies or surface-level interests. I mean emotional maturity and spiritual awareness that match where I am in my journey.

If I am doing inner healing work, if I am in prayer, if I am working through therapy and practicing self-awareness—then I need a partner who is on that same path of growth. If not, I know from experience that I’ll end up carrying the emotional weight alone. As someone who has lived in codependency, I won’t ever go back to one-sided relationships.

Reciprocity Is Non-Negotiable

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in recovery is that love without reciprocity is not love—it’s performance.

For years, I gave and gave without it being returned. I thought that if I showed more love, more patience, or more understanding, then maybe I’d finally be appreciated. But that never happened.

Now, reciprocity is a requirement. If I pour into a relationship, I expect that energy to be poured back into me. If I listen, care, and show up, then I expect the same in return. Not perfection—but balance.

Health as a Lifestyle

Health is also essential for me—not just diet or fitness, but as a lifestyle. I want a partner who cares about their physical body, emotional health, and spiritual well-being.

If I’m investing in keeping my body clean and free of disease, in nourishing my mind with healthy thoughts, and in nurturing my spirit with prayer and reflection, then I expect the same. A partner’s choices about their health don’t just impact them—they affect me too.

And I want someone who values longevity, vitality, and wholeness as much as I do.

Why Staying Single Matters

This message isn’t just for women—it’s for men too. Everyone deserves reciprocity, health, and authentic alignment in love.

If you’ve ever overextended yourself in a relationship, if you’ve tolerated more than you should have, or if you’ve felt unseen and undervalued, then you know why it’s better to stay single until you find the right one.

Settling for less only repeats old cycles. Choosing to wait for alignment creates freedom and joy.

Final Thoughts

I may not be in a relationship right now, but I know who I am, what I value, and what I deserve. And that’s the beauty of recovery: you no longer have to fear being alone, because you’re no longer abandoning yourself.

Stay single until you find someone who matches your spirit, honors your needs, and walks with you in reciprocity. Anything less isn’t worth your peace.

💛 Work With Me

I invite you to schedule a one-on-one consultation with me through my website.

Join my 21-Day Codependency Recovery Program, where I guide men and women through:

• Personalized coaching sessions

• Customized strategies for boundaries and self-worth

• Guidance to break codependent cycles

• Accountability and encouragement to stay consistent in your growth

Subscribe, join our community, and let’s work together to create the life you deserve—because freedom starts here.